EP10 - Reality VS. What YOU Think Is Reality

Wednesday, June 7th

00:10:00

How many times have you prejudged a situation? Assumed someone acted a certain way without knowing facts about their day. How many times has your anxiety taken over reality and convinced yourself why things are happening without any facts to back it up? How to solve this in one simple sentence...

Transcription

It's a how podcast about being medicated he even though it well you're still medicated but. Things are actually going OK this is episode ten of the Medicaid podcast it's been a while hello my name is Ellen Taylor in case you don't know. And a lot has happened since our last podcast one of the big things is that I actually reached out to my long lost therapist. The one I had struggled with reaching out to for a long time and the story behind her is. IA had an event a family emergency when I went to hurt you only got eight sessions with her and then after that he had to gill into referred to sometimes outside practitioner while I really struggled with that and they really delayed and I drag my feet. And then a whole bunch of stuff changed network. Obviously and I said oh my god I'm freaking out I need the tools I just need one session with her soul as a key you know what before I try and find a new therapist. Because I'm struggling right now let me just ask my doctor I can go back and see her and come to find out I was able to get one more session. With my beloved their best who me. That she actually listens to this podcast which was. Great and flattering and also like oh my god am I using the right terms and I think the right things I don't even know but anyway so much to talk to her and I needed tools on how to handle this a weird kind of in between phase of what's going on. Yeah maybe like close to two months ago guy isn't your show it many Mino and we did a show together for five and a half years. He asked and the next day it was my shell and I was told that this is just a temporary thing because. The bosses don't know what's going to happen next and I going to have a show for forever I don't know I don't feel like it's mine right now there's just a whole bunch of question marks. And for so what things I eighty they'll throw you into a tailspin. Obviously I think someone without anxiety that's gonna throw the meant to some type a tailspin but. I just didn't know what to deal and other talking to my therapist I'm realizing that the only person. That's doubting whether or not I can do this whether or not I can pulled down own the station in until we find out what's next was meet. My buses had trusted me with this very expensive radio station and all these expensive toy is. To go and do a good job then why didn't I trusted me. And then he's or to think about OK and let's see exactly talking what's the reality and the best in that picked up from my therapist is that you really need to look at the facts. What's the reality of the situation and what's the situation that you see Israel because we very skewed vision. Our insecurities get the best of us we talked to ourselves we convince yourself that things. There are really even they are now not necessarily talking about like a person or whatever but. We come up with idea as in our heads. Are based in fax a reality because we're nervous or scared for anxious whatever that might be. So I took a step back and start thinking about what the reality of the situation lies and here it. I cannot control. What's going to happen in the future what I can control is what I'm doing right now in the present. Become an everyday and I like to think I do the best job that I can possibly do it I'm getting better and better every day but that's Smart but what happens. After work. You know with your life with your social life with your friends with your eating habits things like that like the what else can you control. So I would leave work and I decided I couldn't sit around and I couldn't come up with a all these what if questions in my head I had to go home and focus on that now. And I go home I'm greedy it's my dog Charlie and now we have a second Foster name stay and a and I have a flustered on like I'm greeted by these puppies and I come home and the I mean there's nothing better than coming home to tease we got you I mean maybe a man that would be nice but for Alex to sleep he's like I sit there and I enjoy them and I cuddle on them and I love up on them I probably pick up when stamp oops my corner and it's disgusting but every you know. I focus on math and that focus on what I'm going to DM taking more tying teal. Not. Necessarily eat healthy that's not looking at it but I'm looking at as stick to a plan. And see if I can make this happen and I'm focusing 100% of my effort at that moment TU. Cooking and then if I'm on the phone with someone whether it's my friend or my family or whatever. Q armor sometimes I'm on the phone put them on speaker and I sir scrolling through Twitter an answer and why. I'm not in any moment I'm not focus on what I'm looking out on answer and I'm not focused on the conversations so what world in my living and that's not a world to be living in you're just kind of going through the motions. I wanna go back to the idea of what is your anxiety talking and what's the reality. I got this really cool opportunity to judge. A female on Japan knew where competition and in the city of Bellevue if you're not familiar with the Seattle area it's very affluent part of town and I locking in and while I was excited to be there. I felt like I was not worthy enough. I'm honest judges panel with a senator and these very successful women and I even know what happened then did they just look successful on the blue is success and beauty and power and like they actually deserve to be there and I'm like I talk about the brands but for a living like limelight here. And walked around jets trying to blend in. I took a step back and thought to myself while I'm probably coming not rarely beechy. I'm probably coming up like I am too bad I'm probably coming up as someone who. Think that they're a celebrity and doesn't wanna talk to anyone else and that wasn't the case she might insecurity was just trying to tell me to take cover. And instead it was coming up the wrong way so. Walking through kind of the cocktail hour and then there's an intermission sack to go to the bathroom things like that. I run into some of these women want a woman in particular who just seem to own the room. I want you to hate her. But it's also gonna wind to be her. She had this car bridge mushy how this confidence in she didn't have that man she faked it so well. Sheila insecure all in my mind. I thought this woman's gonna be a jerk she doesn't know me she's got her posh cease so it doesn't even really matter. I walked by and she actually complimented my outfit caught me totally off guard like oh my god. To get back to high school the popular girl. Among that she's actually talking to me wait to show what does she want from me like well what's going on is there an ulterior motive no she's genuinely just complementing me on my outfit and we surrogate talk. I would how to grow crush on her leg right away because. Of everything that I had said before which was. Is she anxious if she was nervous that she was out of her comfort zone which I know she was she wasn't she didn't act like it she was confident. It spoke to me about my insecurities. I had perceived myself as not being good enough to talk to these people. And he's a fellow women like countries tend to be bananas situation where you feel like you're not good enough to talk to someone whether that's someone of the opposite sex your bosses things like that. You are the only person that's standing in your way your anxiety is the only thing. That you got between you and Epperson you wanna have that conversation with Nellis and we give you had a conversation with your boss let's say you have an idea. He got this great idea and you're gonna go in there to build up the guts to go and talk to your boss that this idea and it doesn't work out. You could chill whether or not it works how. You control. Putting yourself and that all yeah I'm gonna do this mentality. And speaking your opinion and speaking your mind that given you bossy at the radio station there have been numerous times one time in particular. I was at the new. Very hell bent on in ninety and I really wanted to share with them they're really wanted to see make happened and he took the time to listen to that idea and I was so apprehensive when I told him about it and he told me Allen. Cut the (%expletive) just tell me what is the idea. So I told them he was opened to let. Come to find out it wasn't a good fit for our station and it wasn't gonna work. Want it built up the courage to say some thing. And I understood and I felt like he had respected me in my opinion because more importantly I respected my opinion. Even though it didn't turn out the way that I wanted it to I was still OK but you're saying is no one died when I got that my dad no one died. Maybe a little piece of my ego let alone got crushed just a little bit but not really because at that point out as our company. About what I was gonna say yeah confident about the outcome because again I can't control that accompanied about my IA DR. Confident about meat company about what I was presenting to my boss. So really I challenge you to thinking about what's free all. Verses what might be your anxieties your insecurities. Or other things that are talking. Do you that are making stuff really your had that aren't based in. And aren't based in truth and a lot of that can be summed up in one net a little sentence and it's been nice to yourself. Just be kind to yourself. It's so cheesy I get a and I said it so many times of foreign Michael beckoned Ellison he's podcaster Montgomery got Alan you're so cheesy but really just. And I see yourself. This tomorrow is not a nice place especially with everything has been going on lately all like ice. This world is so scary and showed down and so negative reentry he got to be nice see yourself in a sec east are being nice to yourself you're gonna realize you're being nice to other people in my second and deal. That's gonna make other people be nice to them and then this is a chain reaction. So be nice to yourself. Think about what's reality. Think about it not urging the anxiety is the insecurity is what every might have. But also Heidi the Passat how do you acknowledge it for what it is just just worry and then move Fuller argue with reality. Episode number ten of Medicaid aid in the bucks think he's so much for listening as always I appreciate ill.