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Tony, Ellen & Biscuit

 
Posts from March 2013


Something to Make You Smile
You've got 9 seconds, right? If this doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will!


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Men, Men, Men
Admit it ladies. You judge men. According to AskMen.com, these are the top 10 things we judge men on. Do you do any of these?
 
No.1 Smell

Women have known since the beginning of time that the way a man smells is one of the most important factors in determining how irresistible she finds him. In the last 20 years, science has caught on to this idea and discovered that women rated a man’s scent as more pleasurable the more his major histocompatibility complex (MHC) differed from hers. The idea here is that the progeny of MHC-dissimilar individuals may have stronger immune systems.

No.2 Height
Science has finally figured out the exact ratio of height difference that heterosexuals look for in a potential partner. When shown drawings of men and women standing side by side, women were partial to men 1.09 times taller than the female pictured. Essentially, that means you would be about 4 inches taller than her if she’s wearing flats and nearly at eye level if she has heels on.

No.3 Shoulder-To-Hip And Waist-To-Hip Ratios It turns out math is sexy after all, because it seems subliminal attraction boils down to numbers. In the same way that men prefer women with a waist-to-hip ratio of around 0.7, women have an ideal for men, too. Waist-to-hip ratios for men between 0.85 and 0.95 are rated by women as most attractive, with 0.9 being the most attractive. Women also adore men with a higher shoulder-to-waist ratio (in other words, men with broad shoulders and a small waist).

No.4 Open Body Postures
Women are more turned on by men who exhibit open body postures than they are by men who have closed body postures. Essentially,research shows that men who take up more space, by spreading out their legs, gesturing with their hands and arms rather than crossing them, and so on, are perceived as more dominant and attractive. Furthermore, a large body of literature links touch to dominance and indicates that men who initiate physical contact with other men, such as touching another guy on the shoulder or shaking hands first, are viewed as more dominant.

No.5 Bulging Biceps
Research has demonstrated that when women are asked to create lists of what they’re looking for in both short-term and long-term male partners, the items they include pertaining to body characteristics are mostly related to upper-body strength. More specifically, muscular arms and wide shoulders are what they focus on.

No.6 Humor
While it turns out men don’t care much whether or not a woman is funny, it matters to a guy whether or not a woman laughs at his jokes.
He’ll be more into her if she does, especially for a sexual relationship. In contrast, women rate men who emit humorous phrases as more confident and intelligent.

No.7 Jaw Line
During the ovulation phase of their cycles, when women are most likely to be interested in a sexual fling, studies show that they gravitate toward men with strongly developed jawlines. According to researchers, an angled jaw indicates facial masculinity and higher testosterone, which may in turn signal a man’s genetic fitness. Interestingly, however, during the non-fertile phases of their cycles, women do not show the same preference for a prominent jawline.

No.8 Use Of Direct Vs. Indirect Tactics
Your level of attractiveness appears to determine how women would like to interact with you. Women seem to expect and accept that attractive men use tactics that make it clear their aim is to impress, including boastfulness and obvious flirtation. When men are less conventionally attractive, on the other hand, women would rather be propositioned in an indirect way, such as by a guy showing his nice side, an act frequently equated in evolutionary psychological research with indicating long-term potential.

No.9 Smile
Women looking for a long-haul relationship are drawn toward men who appear friendly and agreeable, studies say. Researchers presume that a smiling face may be indicative of helping traits, meaning nice guys might be more likely to commit. On the other hand, women in the mood for a short-term coupling appear to hone in on guys who appear moody, broody and prideful. However, women looking for both long-term and short-term relationships specify that good teeth are important.

No.10 Color
In a 

study 
that examined what women around the world find sexually desirable, researchers revealed that when men’s faces were seen against a red background or they were wearing red clothing, women rated them as more attractive, although not necessarily as “nicer.”
The study further determined that wearing red was associated in women’s minds with power and higher status.

 

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The Pistons
I've had an ongoing love affair with the Detroit Pistons for as long as I can remember. When I realized the Portland Trailblazers would play my beloved team, I had to find a way to be there!
 
Cue our awesome boss, Tim. He perked me and 3 friends with some awesome seats to the game. (Thanks again by the way!) We decided to make it a girls weekend and realized there was no better place to stay than the Hotel Vintage Plaza on Broadway in the heart of downtown Portland. Not only is this place gorgeous, the staff was super friendly and the rooms were so nice! The complimentary wine happy hour was an added bonus! I'll definitely be back and would highly recommend Hotel Vintage Plaza to anyone. (Check them out atwww.vintageplaza.com)
 
The Rose Garden was a quick cab ride from our hotel which made it easy on the wallet and convenient since we didn't have to worry about parking. I nearly lost my voice cheering on the Pistons but even though they lost, we all scored a free chalupa from Taco Bell since the Trailblazers scored 100+ points.
 
A few cocktails, a great game, and a comfortable place to stay all with my best gal pals by my side. I'd have to say that Portland treated us well. Until we meet again...

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What do you want said?

I am almost embarrassed to admit how much I love listening to Andy Stanley.  I believe he is a very wise man, and I have learned a great deal from him.  This morning as I drove to work before the rest of the world even finished REM sleep I was listening to some of his audio on leadership.  He asked a powerful question that I want to pass on to you.  

Andy said that before you decide what you want to DO with your life you should decide WHO you want to be.  And he borrows an excercise from Stephen Covey to help you with it. Simply find time today to write out what you would like to be said at your funeral.  I would love for some of you to leave a couple of things you would like to be said at your funeral in the comment boxes below.  And I want to wait until to tomorrow to say anything else about this assignment, because I don't want to influence what you write down.  So go for it, what do you want to be said about you at your funeral?  

Transforming,

Tony Russell, MA, LMHC

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Dry Digits in An Instant
?The quickest way to spruce up a look is a simple manicure but when life happens, simple quickly turns into nerve racking! What if there as a miracle potion that set your nails in a flash?
 
You've mastered painting both hands without smudging and created the perfect smile line. As you wait for your nails to dry, you have the dying urge to itch your head, your kids start nagging, or your dog whines to be let out. Your mani is ruined and you curse under your breath realizing you have to start all over again. 
 
The answer to your prayers costs less than $5 bucks and is found at most drugstores. Sally Hansen "Dries Instantly" Top Coat is a must for all DIY manicures. The polish applies smooth and sleek without bubbling. The best part is that it really does dry and set your nails so fast! Skip the expensive solutions and give it a go for yourself. It's $5 very well spent!

Nails.jpg

 
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What would Jesus say to Lindsay Lohan

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are very few entertainers that have been in the news more than Lindsay Lohan, and it has rarely been in a good way.  Lindsay has had a series of tumultuous relationships with both men and women, she has allegedly had a drug and alcohol problem, and some may claim she is a kleptomaniac.  And add parents who appear to be more focused on getting and keeping their name in the news than helping their daughter and you have the perfect storm of dysfunction. 

So what would Jesus say to this beautiful young lady who one may argue has committed every "sin" in the book and seems set on destroying her life?  Well, I hesitate to speak for Him, but I guess that He would simply ask her one question.  And that question may be, "Lindsay, what or who are you looking for?"  And her answer would tell Him what he already knew...she is looking for unconditional love and acceptance.  Oh, she wouldn't come right out and say it, but Jesus would quickly see deep into her answer, because He is the ultimate therapist (He also knows her parents).  When you read the New Testament you find that Jesus always had a way of getting to the heart of the mater. 

You see that is why Lindsay is having so many problem in her life.  It is the reason that I have had many of the problems that I have had and you have had in your life.  Think about the times in your life that you were out of control and making one mistake after another.  For some of you reading this you may be thinking, "I'm there now!"  So, what or who are you looking for?  If you were like me and Lindsay you were looking for something to fill that hole in your heart, soul, and life.  Someone or something comes into all of our lives and damages our heart and soul.  And then we go in search of something or someone else that can repair that damage.  We need that hole in our heart and life to be filled...to be filled with hope, love, and acceptance! 

I know what I'm about to say is going to sound strange to some of you so don't stop reading right after you read the next sentence.  I believe that hole in all of our lives is a God shaped hole.  We can try to fit all kinds of things into it, but only God will fit.  In my experience, He is the only one that offers what we all, especially entertainers like Lindsay, crave and that is unconditional love and acceptance.  I will elaborate on what that means in future posts, but think about it and at least give my theory the benefit of your doubts.  And let me conclude with the one thing that I do know that Jesus would say to Lindsay Lohan...I love you.

Pastor Tony 

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My advice for Taylor Swift

 

 

 

 

 

I am a big Taylor Swift fan because of the way she treats others (especially her fans).  And so when I heard her say that she wonders if she will ever be happy my counselor and fatherly instincts kicked in to overdrive.  During the interview I wanted to interrupt, but while that may have made for a great and yet awkward radio moment it would have likely lead to us not getting to interview her ever again!  If you did not hear the interview with Taylor Swift then you may want to listen to it by clicking on the link at the bottom.  

So here is what I would say to Taylor Swift about her apparent relationship problems, which I realize are based on the media and could be very far off.  However, if she is having as much trouble as it appears then she needs to get her "picker" fixed.  And all that simply means is that she is picking the wrong men.  When someone has a series of bad relationships they then need to look in the mirror, and ask why it is happening.  No, I'm not saying it is Taylor's fault and that she is causing all the problems in the relationship.  She may be a wonderful person that does a whole lot more right than she does wrong in a relationship, but the guys she chooses to enter into a relationship with are not a good fit.  And therefore she needs to figure out what all these guys have in common with each other.  And then she needs to run like hell when that trait shows up in the next guy she meets.  Why?  So that she will never ever ever...ever...never ever have to go through the heart ache again.  So the answer to Tay Tay is "yes" she can absolutely be happy, and "yes" she will continue to be successful as a performer and song writer.   

Pastor Tony

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A repost of my blog post on my 46th Birthday

 

 

 

 

Relationships:

The relationships you make will determine the quality of your life.  Put your relationship with God first and a very close second is your relationship with your spouse.  Make them a priority and love them with every fiber of your heart and soul.  Spend as much time as you can with your parents and call them often.  And never ever stop making new friends and do your best to stay in touch with all the good ones.  You will know who the good ones are because they will be quick to listen, slow to give advice or judge, and when they have nothing to gain from you...they still stick around.   

Religion:

Religion will suck the life out of you and crush your faith in God.  If you focus on the teachings of Jesus and get rid of the rules manifested by the modern church you will have a stronger faith and feel more connected to God.  Religious people are angry and judgmental and it is because they are jealous.  They are angry at people that do the things they would love to be doing.  Never trust a pastor who wants his picture on everything.   

Work:

Never quit a job without having another one lined up unless you have a ton of money in the bank, and the current job seems to be destroying your life.  Do your best to find a job that you enjoy, but know that what you do for a living may simply be what puts food on your table.  However, you must be involved in the things that put meaning into your life.  If your value and self worth is based on what you do for a living then you will be very vulnerable (someone else said that but can't remember who).  Your value as a man is not based on your title, but on how you treat others...especially your wife and children.  If you are highly successful at work, and neglect your wife and children...you are not truly successful.  In 20-30 years your children will not give a damn about the title you had after your name, but they will remember what kind of father you were to them and if you were a good husband to their mother.  The most import title that you will have is father & husband. 

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Why I Believe in You

 

 

 

Today is officially the launch of Transformation365 where I hope we can build a community of people doing their best to live life to the fullest.  I also hope you will subscribe to my email list (in upper right corner) so that you will receive these updates daily.  I promise to make them brief and to the point.

Today I simply want to say that I believe in you, and I want you to begin doing the same.  I believe that you can live out the dreams and passions of your heart, because I believe they were placed there for you to do so.  And regardless of what you may be feeling at this exact moment I know you were placed on this earth for a reason.  Rick Warren says, "There are accidental parents, but there are no accidental children. There are illegitimate parents, but there are no illegitimate children. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did, and He wanted you alive." 

You are on this earth for a reason, and I hope that I can play a small part in helping you uncover that and more importantly...living it out!  I truly believe that 2013 can be the best year of your life!  Please take the time to subscribe and share Transformation360 with a friend. 

Transforming,

Tony Russell, MA, LMHC

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Get the Weight Off & Keep it Off

 

 

I was watching an interview with Al Roker where he not only admitted to "pooping his pants" at the White House, but that he still struggles with keeping his weight in check.  The announcer then said something that really shocked me (even more so than Al thinking he was farting and shi$!ing his pants).  She said, "95% of the people who lose weight will gain it all back."  When I first heard that shocking statistic I got discouraged, but then I thought "what a great opportunity!"  Think about it, you and I have a chance to finish in the top 5% of the nation.  You and I have a chance get the weight off, keep it off, and then strut our skinny ass off!   

I don't know about you, but I love it when someone doubts that I can do something.  And trust me, when you and I say we are going to go from flabulous to fabulous people doubt us.  In fact, they may say, "You will just gain it back" or "You will be back to eating crap in three days."  When people do that it adds fuel to my fire, and I can't wait to prove them wrong. 

The key to keeping the weight off is simple, but not easy to do.  The key is to not say "I'm going on a diet UNTIL..."  Listen to me my little fellow flabby friend, that is like you and I saying, "I'm going to be healthy for another three months and then I'm going to return to being unhealhty."  You and I need to begin eating healthy for life, and not just to lose weight.  I know it is difficult because it has been a battle in my own life, but we can do it!  And let me give you another KEY to keeping the weight off, and I know this to be true.  You should weigh yourself every single day of your life.  I kept my weight in check for several years when I weighed myself every day.  When I stopped doing so it wasn't long until the weight was back on.  I know people will tell you to only weigh yourself once a week, but don't listen to them.  This is your year to go from flabulous to fabulous!

Transforming,

Tony Russell, MA, LMHC  

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Life Changing Point

 

Today's blog is short and to the point.  You must remember that failing does not make you a failure.  My good friend Matt Hoover (winner of season two's The Biggest Loser) called me today and we were talking about the continual struggle to stay healthy. 

He made a great point when he said that one of the biggest mistakes people make is giving up to quickly.  For example, many of us will eat something that is not on our diet, and then we feel like a complete failure.  And then what do we do?  Please excuse the expression, but we then say "screw it" and we continue to eat the wrong foods for the rest of the day, week, month, and year. 

We all make mistakes and we all have moments where we fail, but we don't have to turn it into a total failure.  And this is true in life as well.  Just because you fail at a task doesn't mean you are a failure.  And as my dad says, "If you aren't failing then you must not be doing anything or trying anything new."  I believe with all of my heart, soul, and damaged liver that 2013 is going to be your year! 

Transforming,

Tony Russell, MA, LMHC 

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Arsenic in Food?

So I received my daily email from Food Inc. today and it was titled, "Maryland decides chickens shouldn't eat poison anymore."  Now, I'm no doctor or scientist, but I'm thinking that has to be a good thing!  The article continues to say, "Shockingly, it's standard practice for chicken farmers to feed their chickens arsenic. The chemical is used as an additive to kill parasites and promote growth. Last week, Maryland became the first state to declare it illegal."

I honestly don't know enough about this to give anyone advice, but it is seriously concerning and I pray more research is being done.  Marrian Burros of The New York Times wrote a recent article about this subject and made some interesting statements.  She wrote, "The amount (of arsenic) is not enough to kill anyone in one fell swoop, but arsenic is a recognized cancer-causing agent and many experts say that no level should be considered safe. Arsenic may also contribute to other life-threatening illnesses, including heart disease and diabetes, and to a decline in mental functioning."  Think about the "illnesses" Ms. Burros mentioned.  The first being heart disease, which is the number one killer in America right now.  Then she talks about diabetes and a decline in mental functioning.  The number of people being diagnosed with diabetes, especially children, is alarming right now.  And ask any teacher how many of her students are struggling with a decline in mental functioning, and they will tell you that it is alarming. 

 Picture going to your favorite fast food drive thru and it going something like this: 

  • loud screech: Can I take your order?
  • You lean your sexy neck out as far as you can get it:  Yes I would like a chicken sandwich, small fries, and a large Dr. Pepper.
  • screech:  Okay, I have your order as a chicken sandwich, some small fries, and a large Dr. Pepper is that correct?
  • Yes
  • screech:  Okay sweet heart pull around.  Oh wait I almost forgot, there may be just a trace...small trace of arsenic in your chicken is that okay?
  • Sure...no problem. 

Don't get me wrong, because I am not saying I never go to a fast food restaurant or buy non organic food at the grocery store, but I am beginning to think that when you and I buy processed food we are no different than the person sucking down a pack of cigarettes a day.  Do me a favor...one small favor and watch the documentary "Food Inc."  You can rent it at your favorite video store or simply watch it through Netflix or Amazon Instant Video.  It has changed the way I view food.  As you can see I have attached the trailer for Food Inc. below.  Now, here is what a lot of people say, "I can't afford to eat organic or healthy food."  I'm not sure that is true because IF you and I choose to eat truly natural foods then we won't be going out to eat as often, drinking as much booze, or going to the doctor as often.  And maybe the question should be, "Can we afford not too?"  Just some FOOD for thought! 

Transforming,

Tony Russell, MA, LMHC

 

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70% of Married Couples do This

What percentage of marriages end in divorce?  If you are like most people then you would say 50% of marriages end in divorce, and you would be mostly wrong.  According to The United Family International they say the follow:

More than 70 percent of all first marriages succeed.  Seventy percent of all people who have ever been married are still married to the same person!

So where’d the 50 percent number come from, you ask?  Those who marry, divorce, re-marry, divorce, and re-marry and divorce are dragging the overall average down to 50 percent.

Although a first-marriage divorce rate that hovers around 28 percent is far from ideal, that number tells a different story about marriage than the continual drum beat about divorce being such an inevitable part of marriage.  The vast majority of marriages can and DO succeed!

Society loves to make marriage seem like one of the most difficult and horrendous things on earth.  We have all heard someone say to the new groom, "Well boy your life is over."  Trust me when I say that marriage is far from being the end, and that it can actually be the beginning of many wonderful years of your life.  This week I will take the time to give you a few marriage tips that will help make sure you stay in the 70% that are still together!  And yes I will talk about sex just to make sure you come back to read my blog.  If you haven't already, please sign up to get my daily posts sent to you via email.  You just have to simply give me your email in the top right corner under "subscribe." 

Please share this on your Facebook

Transforming,

Tony Russell, MA, LMHC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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