I'm overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the comments, emails and texts from friends and strangers alike about my last blog. The outpouring, while unexpected, was both comforting and terrifying.
"You just literally wrote every word inside my head and heart. No joke. I could go into some long explanation but as you know, it's not needed because those feelings you describe said it all."
"Ellen, I soooo get you! I've had the same struggle most of my adult life and I'm 60 now."
"Have you been reading my journal? I'm a guy and reading that was like looking in the mirror. I appreciate you. Thanks."
"You are sooo my hero! You're not the only one! I feel the exact same!"
A hero?! Wow. Some have put me on an undeserved pedestal. I don't claim to be an inspiration because I haven't achieved anything to be inspirational. (At least not yet.) Realizing now that many struggle the way I do, I've chosen to continue my journey publicly.
Selfishly I write because expressing my struggles releases the stress that consumes me. I write for me just like I’m losing weight…for me. I don’t write to inspire. I don’t write to get attention. I write solely to get the negative thoughts, the toxins, out of my body. A mental detox to work alongside the physical one if you will. If others can take something positive from my experience then I welcome you inside my crazy, scared, and hopeful mind.