Let me start by saying ALL babies are gifts. Especially those born with disabilities and such. But all parents can relate to what I'm about to say. I just want our little girl to pop out HEALTHY! It's my number one fear.
So this story goes back to when Kristen (my wife) and I went back to visit my family back in Michigan a couple weeks ago. Our doctors appoinment with the gender reveal of our baby wasn't going to be for a couple more weeks, so we decided to pay $40 and go to this private place in Chicago that performs ultrasounds. I had no idea I would walk out of there completey scared and heartbroken.
I wasn't aware of this walking in, but since these little private ultrasound places don't have doctors on staff, they can't comment about anything medical. They basically just find the gender for you and give you some pictures to take home.
So everything seemed to be going well. She kept commenting on how beautiful the little baby looked in Kristen's tummy. Then I said something I never should have said. I blurted out, "and she looks healthy, right?" The ultrasound tech kind of paused and said.... "well... I can't comment on anything medical. If I find any problems I have to place a private call to your doctor."
The tone she was using didn't comfort this worried dad-to-be's heart at all!! So I doubled down. I said, "but you won't have to call the doc, right? Because she looks healthy, right...?" Now keep in mind I had NO idea that she wasn't allowed to comment on anything medical. I was just wanting to hear that phrase, "everything looks good to me!"
So the tech paused again... as if she was searching for the right words... "Like I said... um... if I were to see anything bad... I would have to call your doctor privately after you leave." Well that's all it took. I could barely pay attention to anything after that. I'd like to think I'm pretty good at reading body language, and I swear I could tell she was holding back some bad news from us. I could hear it in her voice. I knew something was wrong.
So we ended up going back home to see my family. We cut into the gender cake... it was pink! We celebrated the fact that we had a little girl on the way... but all the while in the back of my mind I was scared to death that something was wrong with our little one. It's all I could think about.
Well finally, yesterday we went to see the doctor in Bellevue. He did a thorough 3D ultrasound and inspected every inch of that little baby. And finally at the end came the news... "your baby is completely healthy! She weighs 1 pound and everything looks completely normal." I wanted to jump up and pump my fist and scream YEAHHHHHH BABY!!! But I just sat there in relief trying to hold back the tears.
I was mostly successful at holding back the tears... until he said the following: "Nick and Kristen, when you guys get home today, you should write your little girl a letter. Tell her how much you love her already... how much you can't wait to meet her... and how happy you are that she looks so healthy." That was it. I was done. Tears.
I know, I know. I worry too much. I shouldn't have gotten so nervous. But this is my first child! It's hard not to worry.
Anyway, let me conclude with this. In my opinion, go to a damn doctor when you get an ultrasound!! Especially when it's your first baby. There's nothing to me like the peace of mind that a good doctor can provide.
More updates soon... thanks as always for reading :)